I had to post this because it is a very rare occurance that I found myself laughing outloud at the office from something I read online.
I was reading a blog today and I noticed an add for the new weightloss pill, Alli. I'm curious so I click. At first glance this sounds like the miracle pill the world of women have been waiting for!
"Forget the fad diets and gimmicks. The miracle offers, the empty promises. Welcome to Alli."
Hmm....please tell me more.
"If you have the will, we have the power."
I have the will! Please give me your power, oh great one Alli!!!!
At this point my curiosity is peaked. This the only weightloss pill that is FDA approved. It must work miracles! I decided to click on, "how does it work." Although I'm intrigued I am still skeptical.
The sight continued to tell me that Alli worked by preventing your body from breaking down all the fat that you ingest. That doesn't sound so bad. But then it went on to say, "Undigested fat cannot be stored and passes through the body naturally...In fact, you may recognize it in the toilet as something that looks like the oil on the top of a pizza." Excuse me? Come again? So you're telling me that pizza oil comes out of my bum and floats in my toilet? If it comes out while I'm doing my business does it come out when I least expect it????
I decided to read the side effects:
"you may have bowel changes that are call treatment effects:
-gas with oily spotting
-more frequent stools that may be hard to control"
I'm sorry, you said that the nasty side effects are that I'll:
-shart oil in my pants
-have to use the bathroom in my pants while I'm in that important meeting with my boss
Wow, I'm beginning to think this isn't the magic weightloss pill I've been hoping for.
Oh great Alli, I asked for your power, but please....not the power to poo!!!!